I remember a TV commercial growing up where someone asks a chauffeur standing by a car what he is doing. The chauffeur replies, “Practicing waiting!” It’s a phrase that has stuck with me through the years, and I practiced waiting quite a bit this past week. I also remember at a meditation retreat Joseph Goldstein saying, “We always seem to be leaning into the future; even at a retreat like this, with literally nothing to do, we may be sitting mindfully, and a thought comes in how nice a cup of tea would be at this moment.”
After leaving the Safari Voyager, we took a three hour drive to San Jose los Cabos, where I had two hours before taking the shuttle to the airport. Thankfully, I squeezed in an appointment with a doctor who flushed the wax out of my ears! (I’ll spare you the photo). Once at the airport, I had four hours to kill before my flight. The flight was delayed, then cancelled, then an hour wait on a line to be given a hotel. I did have a beautiful morning the next day, doing fake Tai Chi on the beach and having a lovely breakfast.
Back to the airport, more waiting and an easy flight to Los Angeles. I had bailed on going back to Tijuana after the cruise and had bought a flight directly to LA where Joy was waiting for me with its new axle. It was Sunday so I got a hotel near the airport, which was also near the repair shop. In the meanwhile my new friend Susie (who had driven me to San Diego) invited me to her ranch at Mt Shasta for New Years. It was 650 miles away. I hesitated, then reminded myself distance is irrelevant when one is on an epic road trip. I also wasn’t looking forward to being alone at a random campground on New Year’s Eve. I said yes! She mentioned the idea of flying, which sounded even better, despite my recent airport experiences. I bought a ticket for Monday night with a connection in San Francisco. I had all of Monday to wait, so I decided to walk Venice Beach. I had been there years ago with Sharon.
There was plenty of people-watching and touristy shops. I stopped and watched a woman in a wheelchair crushing it at a skate park. On the walk back I noticed a shop selling magic mushroom products. I was amazed it was legal and stepped in. I asked him about how to consume the dehydrated “shrooms” someone had given me at the Northwest Nomads gathering back in September. They have been sitting in a drawer ever since. I don’t consume THC any more, as I find the effect unpleasant. As my friends know, I do like a good martini, but in general I like my mind the way it is, and if I’m considering taking a mind-altering substance I want it to give me new insights and a more open heart. I ended up buying an $80 chocolate bar with 12mg psilocybin substitute, which is why it was legal. The doses were Micro (1-2 squares), Therapeutic (3-5), Journey (6-8) and God-Mode (9-12). I took four.
It has been many decades since I did anything other than smoking pot. After college I tried LSD with my friend Tim. I felt my mind being wrested away from me and was moments away from asking for an ambulance, but then I simply accepted this may be the day I die. Suddenly the experience shifted to one of incredible beauty, and I felt I received a glimpse of the shape of Existence and the manifest Universe. I saw it as a universe-sized Yin/Yang symbol, with life and death, positive and negative electrons, matter and anti-matter eternally flowing back and forth, always in perpetual balance. It was a spiritual epiphany of the First Law of Thermodynamics, which states nothing is ever lost or gained in the universe. I also felt I had cheated my way to the experience, effectively like children lifting the tent at the circus without having paid for admission. I decided if I ever did something like LSD again, it would be when I’m in my late nineties and I didn’t care if I kept my mind or not. It set me on a lifelong path of Eastern spiritual teachings which ultimately led me to Buddhism.
I wasn’t afraid of losing my mind at Venice Beach. I stopped for lunch and ordered a tuna poke bowl and a margarita. I had taken two bites and one sip and suddenly could consume no more. I left and walked out to the ocean. Mostly I felt queasy, but also high. It wasn’t pleasant. I waited, watching the waves. I felt my grief come up, and sat with that. I walked again, and as I looked at people, I perceived them as “types”, their outward presentation a layer of identification, but not who they were in essence. Of course they were complete strangers to me; I know nothing about them. Back at the hotel, I had more time to wait so I found a lounge chair, closed my eyes and listened, feeling grateful for clean ears. Two young women sat beside me, and I heard the fabled “Valley girl” accent in full measure.
More waiting at the airport. Going through security I passed the sign saying “NO concentrated narcotics. This includes cannabis. You may be arrested. Ignorance is not a defense.” I thought about keeping my $80 bar, but good old executive function saved me again. I killed some time watching electronic music software tutorials, but I also simply practiced waiting. The more I live in constant travel, the more “Wherever you go, there you are” becomes a felt sensation. I felt no stress, no rush towards wishing I could be somewhere else.
The flight was delayed and I missed my connection. Another hotel! “Practicing waiting” was in fact wearing thin. I was decidedly frustrated and absolutely wishing I could be somewhere else.
Susie picked me up and we went to her ranch. Unbelievably gorgeous. All the travel issues melted away. Mt Shasta looms massively not far in the distance, and Shasta the dog presides in her cozy home. The next day was New Year’s Eve, and Yvonne and Jerry had invited us to drive the five hours north to Eugene, OR to hear a band and spend the night, which we did. Check out Ben Rice and the PDX Hustle. We spent an extra day with them, then drove back to the ranch. It was so nice to be together, dance, play cards and be with good friends as we tumble headlong into 2026.
Thankfully, the early flight directly to LA went without a hitch. I picked up Joy and was on my way. I’m back in Palm Springs, just did laundry, and I’m heading towards Quartzite and Lake Havasu for more van-life gatherings.